You’re not getting enough. The sex you are getting is poor. You climax too soon. You don’t climax at all. His feet stink. Her left buttock is smaller than her right buttock. His nipples are too hairy. Her nipples aren't hairy enough. When it comes to sexual gripes you couldn’t possibly begin to shock me.
Honestly, I’ve heard them all including the case of one man who could only achieve erection when he cut his wife's hair while she slept. I couldn't save that marriage. She developed alopecia.
The important thing to remember is you’re not alone. Truth time. Turn to the person next to you – in your office, on the train, in the supermarket queue. Take a good look at your fellow humans. They’re sexually inadequate also and they’re just as terrified as you.
Our society has conditioned us to compete for an attractive sexual partner. Much of our self-worth is connected to the frequency and quality of our sexual experiences. So of course you’re terrified when it comes to sex – who you’re hooty-fa-tooting, how you’re hooty-fa-tooting them, and how often said hooty-fa-tooting activity takes place is directly related to how you feel about yourself. And that takes us to our primary fear – fear of not being enough.
It’s that fear which keeps you at a nightclub until four in the morning waiting for a semi-conscious eighteen year old to stumble into your pants. It’s that fear which makes you text photos of that same naked eighteen year old to your mates as evidence that sexual activity has occurred.
It’s time to stop letting the fear control you and for you to control the fear. Stay home and flick your own bean.
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